him. and that's the only one i want.

I want him or someone better. Thats all I want.
SO.

if you happen to be neither..sorry but your efforts have been wasted..
cause I'm not interested.

..v

but I've been shunning everyone in my class pretty much at this point cause I'm tired and I just don't want to talk to them...
there's only 3 people aside from family, sean, joel and whitney that I feel to talk to right now..and that's misheck, darlene, and will.

I don't want to talk to anyone else...like at all..
I mainly just want to talk to William. And have him text me back....message me back....email me back...call me back..something me back...so I know he's ok...I'm so worried for him but I'm not cause I've been praying so I know he'll be ok soon. I've done tiny things to show I'm still thinking about him and that his friends are all thinking of him and hope he's ok..I just hope I can see him before christmas...so I can give him his gifts..cause he's going home before then...
I just want him to tell me he's alright and be his stupid goofy self that i've grown to know...
I miss him and our dumb talks I really do...but I'm sure he'll be ok. He knows I'm here for him so..thats all that matters.




I just want to sleep...I want this stupid project to be over and I want to effin sleep..
..v

That my family was offering to you and ALL OF OUR OTHER FRIENDS....
It's not like-...
y'know what...what ever..
I did nothing but be close to you and a good friend to you.
But since yu want to cut me off so rudely.
You'll be surprise how many people DON'T CARE. Just like you.
....
At least I see him for what he really is now..
I shouldn't have expected much in the first place.

"He clearly has problems.."
I agree..

You don't deserve this..
you really don't.
You don't deserve to be a thought in my mind or anyone else's...
How anyone can even BEGIN to tolerate you is beyond me..
why you chose out of everyone to completely reject ME??...that's on your non existent conscience..
You don't deserve this..
but Love isn't something you have to deserve all the time...it's something everyone needs...
and I do love you as my friend...
and I'll be here when your hung high and dry..
and I hate to say it..but you will be...and soon too...
But I'll be here..praying for you..caring for you from a distance..
until you decide to stop this foolish acting out..
I'll be here..I'll be waiting..
even though you don't deserve it..
I'll be waiting...





why is everything getting so bad for not just me but now my closest loved ones too?...
=/
Please stay strong Misheck..please...it's breaking me inside to see you so upset.
Little sister loves you..


Lord give me strength to do what I need to do, when I need to do it..Make me strong Lord. Only you can..

..v

Yeah sooo...

Goin to William's tomorrow night. =D
Cause Mike invited me, Darlene and Misheck over =D
and Will lives there and stuff lol.

But yeah. I'm gonna be polite and shizz and if I'm tired.
BEST BELIEVE..I'm taking a nap.
AND...I may ask William if I can play on his PS3; then go upstairs an play on it the entire time..
=D Should be fuuuuuuuuuuun...But who knows what I'll end up doing...I hope they have food cause I know I'm gonna be STARVING...

I need to pick out what to wear tomorrow..
cause I seriously want to just not wear clothes again tomorrow.
I just wore leggings and a tee shirt today and I was super comfy.
I wanna be super comfy tomorrow too..
SO ... I dunno..I gotta find out...
I'll go upstairs and see what I'm in a feel for..

So yeah..
ummm.....I want soup..I have no money on my card and it makes me cry. lol
I had mad gas today like..whoa..I'm never drinking starbucks again..
I think that's why i was so hyper..hyperactive der..
yeah. I am hyperactive..
UGH!!! I seriously don' want to go to physics tomorrow...
but! I kinda have toooo....
ew.


y'know. I used to actually be upset that I couldn't joke and make William laugh and shit..
but now..I really don't care..cause I can talk to him...like..however I want. And harrass him and stuff and he just sits and takes it caue he's my friend lol..and I'm like.."hmm.. now that I think about it I don't constantly laugh with every single one of my friends. But I just love the fact that all the people I consider my friends. I can talk to. Point out random stuff to..like I can do that with Will now. like...it's come to a point where I've realized I need to focus on myself. My friends will always be my friends. The won't abandon me just because I don't talk to them. I just wanna live and be me and focus on becoming one of the greatest most well renouned crazy architects/designers/cartoonists/illustrators/artists that ever lived. (I know Will, Misheck(especially) and Phil are gonna be my competition..I'm gonna top them..believe it. (gabby too. Her designs are cool. As for the cartoon side..CHUCK AVERY. Man was a charater genius. I want my characters to be as memorable as his. And for the art part: Jeremy Hartley. the truest artist that ever lived no doubt. I love that little man and I do miss him..)) Love will come eventually. Me and William's relationship will bud as long as I don't butt in and don't push anything and just let things flow and let God do his biz.

I like being happy even when i'm sad. I do that by praising God for allowing me to wake up and gracing His presence on me and protecting me and loving me in everyway even when I take advantage of Him. I apologize and pray that no matter what happens on this day that it's all a result of your will. Even if I have a disappointing day. I want to live that day fully for him. And talking to whoever he wants me to talk to. Yeah duh I always wanna talk to Will. But I know I don't have to put myself in his line of sight. or get noticed. Like how he comes down with Misheck I go up with Darlene. lol Then we interact. Darlene directs to him and me alot and Misheck directs to me and Will alot. They do equal for each other simply cause they talk to each other alot already. lol. Then we just address each other whenever we want. He's..so honest to the point it's bold and can come off as sassy and rude. But he's really just being honest. All he does is say what he feels he wants to say. And alot of the time it's corny and funny...and even more times it's rude. lol But it's Will. Just like how I say ditzy stupid crazy silly bold rudish sweetsy honest and I guess random? things alot just because I feel like saying it. But it's me. I get hyped up. I get super excited. I get loud. I laugh with everything I have. I laugh at almost everything. I laugh til it hurts. I smile almost all the time. I make a big deal of things. I get easily distracted. I like shiny things. I don't talk to you unless I have something to say to you that involves you in some manner or form. Or I just feel like saying it to you. Point is. That's just me. And the more Will talks to me..the more he sees and just accepts that...he's good at that..not caring and accpeting things..but I cross one boundary at a time. I kinda know what he won't care about and what he does. I can go on his computer but can't like take it and be all crazy with it..I have to be extra careful. He's finiky about his stuff...umm....another thing I learned is...he really doesn't care..about alot...lol umm...but he looks out for his buddies...Speaking of which..I gotta clarify the solutions to all my ordeals...cause he does ask about them meaning he apparently genuinely cares..I may talk to him in the morning or something...about it...or something...whatever.
But yeah...I know I have friends. I know who they are. I've been ignoring myself however.
I kept thinking to have friends I had to be something like Darlene and steal the attention..but I have no idea what to do with it when i have it..I realized I can be myself. I honestly have nothing to say until i feel like saying it or..I just have something to say...I will blurt it out if I feel like it. i miss the moment sometimes cause I'm off in a daydream...oh. William also mumbles to himself but he won't say what he says...=/....misheck is like..my older brother...number two. and darlene is like my older sister lol..they're so wonderful..when the four of us just chill..we all just talk to each other. when misheck and darlene are foolin around me an will just chat it up about people that pass by or whatever random outburst i may say..it's pretty cool..i act like a destructive teen with misheck while darlene plays around with will.
It's all awesome. I like the four of us just hangin out. I don't hang with them for most of the day so..yeah. I mean. i dunno. that class is just cool. Me and gabby are friends of friends. lol we can laugh and stuff with our friends and we address each other and say hi but I wouldn't call us friends. I simply don't talk to her like that yet. I never hang around her so I'm just not comfortable with her much...but I'm chill with everyone in that studio. i say hi and chat for a bit at times.

It's fun..being me...going outside to chill by myself..
I really wanna improve my drawing..
heidi-overdosin
I kinda like that song.
Kimora makes me laugh. She's always herself. No matter what that is. That's why I love her. She always encourages people to be beautiful and be themselves. All the time.
=D

I really want some ginseng soda.

I love my life..cause it's not going in my direction. It's going in God's...and ...I'm happy about that..it's tough..cause I rarely get what I want..and money's a pinch..but I'm still happy and content..
I give off an illusion of business lol..wonderful...
there are so many books I wanna buy...when we went to Will's house I was sitting down and Mike was like "why are you so quiet I thought you wanted to see the house right?" and practically immediately I was like "ok let's go upstairs!" and I just like shot up and ran up stairs and mike followed. lol and misheck and will and darlene were laughing at me and misheck was like "that was quick" lol..so I saw will's room and I yelled that it was a dump and he was like it's messy cause I haven't put away anything yet! and I was like oh. then I went into mike's room and he has like a mini architecture library and has like..sooooo many shoes that it could be another foot locker..but misheck has more..wow...and so anyway..I saw dwayne's room and it was cool. I used the bathroom. The rooms smell nice. I told william I was stealing a shirt but then I took it back cause the shirt I wanted to steal was a gift from his sister..soooo I was in the midst of choosing another shirt when he kept saying no and said he'd buy me one when he goes back home this winter break. and I told him ok..make it a long sleeve one and he said ok I said thank you then went back upstairs and looked at mike's books with darlene. and will came up and i was just comming out of his room and I went back into mike's and so I he came out of dwaynes room with a blankie and I was like "that your blankie?" and he was like no it's old I'm throwing it away.. and so we all ended up in mikes room talking about books and teachers and misheck was like comfy and watching the game lol..then we eventually left like..5 min after we came back down stairs. and he was like you guys are gonna come over and hang tomorrow right? and me and darlene were like..SURE! lol

so yeah.

Mike's place tomorrooooow....I'm gonna need juice and banana cake. then maybe I can ask for a 200 buck stipen for the next month? lol

yeahh...

I'm tired and thirsty and hungry...I just want some soup..so I can umm...sleep and eat and...I need to pick out my outfit tomorrow..it's gonna be hot and I'm gonna porbably walk around tomorrow..or chill outside..I'm gonna go walk around the reservior tomorrow....just relax some..I'm gonna wear my skirt cause i don't wanna wear pants and I wanna flow. =D I may wear jeans...i dunno..I'll find out tonight when I put it on. mmm I may just wear the dress and bring my jeans to change into when i don't wanna be so open and I'm tired of the dress...wither jeans or some sweat pants...i need new ones...colored ones...

I wanna buy so many architecture and art books like..it's crazy..I may just sit in borders one day and just...like...draw lol out of the book since I can't buy it yet...yeah...my christmas list is gonna be full of books. i wanna start up y own library like my daddy. =) and read them all and draw something from them all...like..I wanna develop in my art but i feel indered cause i don't understand the body muscles fully..especially for men..and I don't have any programs...I think I'm gonna bring my laptop tomorrow..and see if I can install a softwear will has lying around somewhere..misheck has it..I'm gonna ask him..to do mine tomorrow..


really want some juice.
and cake...lol...
Ok I need to wake up an excersie tomorrow.


ok
..v

He just waited until I stopped being so stubborn.
Me and Will get along really well.
=]
he's fun to mess with haha.


Nah. We're friends...
I cn finally call him my friend..
=]
that feels good...

I'm gonna harass him over the summer and yell happy birthday in his ear on June 27!
=D
Yeah. He like..addresses me directly..
it's awesome.
Will is so weird but he's really cool.
=]
I like him.

..v

But God isn't.
He's incredible. And I love him.
And He's the only person I can put all my faith trust and love in and not get hurt.
He's blessed me with an incredible family that I can do the same with; sure we fight and there are let downs..but none so huge that we never make up for it. Not every family is like that. And even though we're dysfunctional..I believe I have the best dysfunctional family in the world. Cause we have God and we have his Love. That's what holds us all together.
=]

but back to God.
God is everything to me.
And he has never let me down.
Sure things haven't gone "my way"...but my way usually ends up as a huge screw up anyway.
Then I pray and he leads me down the right path..of course I veer off...cause I may see something distracting...then I end up broken and disappointed...but he makes everything better in the end...I just have to stay strong..

They're are days I want to cry.
Just cry and ask.."why"..."what's the purpose of all this"
But I don't bother with details anymore...i dunno...
I feel full but my human flesh feels empty and is still hurting...
Of course I'm healing. Praises to God. But I still hurt...
I just want someone to take that all away...
I wanted it to be Will.
But I honestly don't want to bother myself with him anymore..
And the weirdest thing is that I miss him.
And I hate that.
But what I hate the most is that I can't tell him that.
At all.
or ever for that matter.
But I want him to know.
I want him to know everything.
How in infiltraits my thoughts when I don't think about him at all that day..
how he shows up in my dreams completely uninvited!
...I well up with distaste whenever I think about him.
My heart burns with a passion to punch him right in his stomach..and kiss him all at the same time...
that feeling? is BEYOND irritating...


But I don't want him to go away...
I just want the feeling to calm down...
I do want to be his close friend..
but whether or not it ever reaches that point...
is up to God.
He won't talk to me.
And honestly?....I'm starting to be just fine with that..




That was a god let out...not really..
cause nothing went away...
oh well..


..v

Shey...can you chew with your mouth closed? is it REALLY that fucking hard??
The most irritating sound...EVER..
=/

I'm not happy anymore.
Well I am.
But the only things-
scratch that.
The only PEOPLE that TRULY make me happy and feel like someone important..
Are about a couple miles away from me..as in:
NOT AT HOWARD.

it's annoying.
God keeps putting William on my heart.
Like I'm supposed to be connected or some shit with him.
Like a family bond or some shit.
Look.
IT'S NOT WORKING.
What the fuck is the point of putting myself out there, when all he's going to fucking do is toss my friendship aside like some fucking worn out poker chip!
I'm tired of being crushed and ignored.
I'm tired of having a fucking "pity" conversation.
YOU DON'T WANNA TALK TO ME FUCKING ACT LIKE IT YOU DICK.

He doesn't even want to talk to me..
He's just being nice cause Darlene is there or DeAnna is there..
and everyone one on the fucking planet is in fucking love with them..

I'm just the weird ass they hangout with all the fucking time...
I honestly believe no one really likes talking to me..
the just sorta..tolerate me?...
I dunno...
Why are you doing this to me Lord?
It was supposed to be a new year...
why am I just as alone as last year, huh?....
Am I ugly? Annoying?..a freak?...
I guess all of the above...
...

I just feel like shit...
no one gets me here..
no one wants to actually listen to me or talk to me..
it's just so fucking annoying..
and lonely...
I'm so fucking tired of being lonely...

I dunno...
maybe I need sleep..

Something is telling me to talk to Will about this in hypothetical form...
but I'm tired of being depressed around him...
I may or may not...
If that fucking Dick sucker can "squeeze" me in his "schedule"..fucking lazy ass acts like he's busy the moment I really want to talk..
but I bet he'd drop everything in a heart beat for Darlene and DeAnna...
Every day I just can't help but think that he's thinking: *sigh* Why does she always talk to me? Why do I always get stuck with her?..>=/
but for some stupid ass fucking reason my heart makes me think that he's really thinking this: She's talking to me again..what do I say?..I don't wanna seem stupid and not say anything..she's a sweet girl after all...I don't want to seem like a jerk..I'm just busier than I let on..I should talk to her sometime..hopefully she won't stop coming to me..I hope I don't seem like I'm brushing her off..I gotta keep my distance..I can't get to attached to her..She's sweet..Too sweet for someone like me...I shouldn't waste her time anymore..I'll say something quick enough...Please come back..I'll warm up to you I promise..You're..the only one I can seriously talk to anyway...one of the few that doesn't take me as a joke...hopefully you'll stick around...I do feel..attached to you somehow..I do like talking to you! You let me talk..I'm just..tired...sleepy that is.."....
FUCK YEAH. =/
Like he's thinking that shit...
plz heart...
don't lie to me..
not about this...
Stop warming up to him..
he hates you.
You're annoying to him...
You're panging suggests otherwise...

If that's true..
I want to see it.
Let him slip up.
Just once.
Tomorrow.

Until then.

FUCK WILLIAM.
I'm fucking done.

I'll be nice and shit and say hi and shit.
But no more.
Fuck him.
I'm done trying.
He can put his ass on the line.
=/



..v

And saved me from myself. =D
She has a funny way of doing that.

We were at her brothers dorm.
I was...open again..and like...talked to people lol..
it was weird...
Cuase I remember.
NEVER being able to do that like..in my life.
Charlotte is my new bud.


Pierre knew Will.



And Misheck.
And Phil.
And Jamil.
=/



My world is TOO SMALL now.

So I texted Will.
I didn't think he'd even ask me like...what's up or anything.
I thought he would say...yes or no. And that's that.
...
he said "what's up?"..
=]

So I told him what happened and told him Marjorie wanted to see him.
He said if she can make it then sure.
..

I'm surprised he even asked me whats up..
now he's like..having a text convo with me.
=D


So we made it.
And he was ... Will..my big brother again...=]
It felt so good to have him back like...
I was so happy...
Me and Marjorie prayed together..
That our relationship will blossom into the closeness it once was..
My heart is starting to calm down and not be so anxious anymore..
like..
I think I may be comfortable .... walking up to where Will is and just..
saying "sup?" again...
=]

Even after: I texted him telling him thank you and that he was awesome lol.
I never expect a text back...but he did..
he said no problem and that he hoped she enjoyed it. =D

Big Brother Will is back....somewhere in there..
=]

but yeah...
I just gotta make the initiative.
The boyfriend told me so.
Just go over there and say "sup" and when people are around and stuff..
just come back another time.
It doesn't have to be deep.
Just..show you care some lmao..


Seeing Marjorie...
lifted my spirits beyond belief..like..God heard me..
And fortunately for me..He answered my plea that moment..
I missed everyone so much..Seeing Marjorie gave me a new confidence to just keep going on..
like..I'm me..and people love me for it..
I'm excitable..I'm friendly..I'm just..me..and I like that feeling..
I just wish I could talk and chill with my old friends more..and I know as time moves on I'll have people to chill with..
I'm a freshman DUH.
=]

Praise God..like..he gave me so much reassurance and confidence tonight that WILL NOT be wasted tomorrow. If he can see me through it and help me use it.
I'll be there for Will..God will show us both that path someday.
For now all I can do is pray for him.
And just say.."sup"...whenever I get the chance.
Bags in hand or not. y'know?
BUT NOT WHEN GABBY'S THERE.
=/
No offense Lord but...for some reason she has it out for me..
And I KNOW. She's up to no good.
Not for me...
Help me Lord everyday plz..
I need it..






Tonight..
Was one of the BEST WEEKDAY NIGHTS.
I've EVER had on campus.
I love my Cousins.
=D
No joke.

<3 ..v

YOU GOT IT WILLIAM!!

you finally got it.
I guess it took us both a semester to understand.
=]

..for now.
ch'

But anyway.
I'm not complaining.
Everything is tolerable right now.
=]


I finally got my priorities straight when I realized what I was doing.
I didn't come to school to be William's friend.
Or to make friends for that matter.

Yeah
it's a huge plus..
But not the prime reason.
I came here to be an architect.
And that's what I'm gonna be.

I'll make friends along the way.
Because they're gonna be there to help me.
And I them.
It's MY class that's gonna be like family. Not me and William's class...
but that feeling is still there.
And I'm leaving it in God's hands now to use me as he wishes.
Because I definitely have no idea of what the hell I'M doing lmao.
But yeah... a funny thing happened yesterday.
Stan and Billy.
Stan was like "this is my brother man!
We were always meant to be brothers but it just never happened...physically lol. ..but it happened. *smiles* it happened.."
*Billy smiles back*

....wow...
it was strangely something I needed to hear.
The feeling was bugging me.
Cause it was still there when I gave it up to God.
I had to be God imposed upon me so that I wouldn't forget that:
William. I'm going to help you.
I don't know how.
But I will.
And in this process.
We'll become close. Family close.
And you'll start to care for me. Like a little sister.
Like Dan used to...
And I'll look up to you like a big brother.
We'll have our own jokes. And possibly a language that we mixed between English and Japanese. haha!
But I know we're gonna be close William.
And I'll help you..at least I'll try..and if I don't. I'll stick by your side anyway.
Cause..for some reason...I know you need someone there...in a different way...perhaps...perhaps.

But amywho.
yah.
So I'm over that.
I'm just letting the winds take me wherever they blow.

But yeah...now theres another issue..I'll call her Ray.
Ray...is a living breathing...self denying contradiction.
It's pretty insane.
It's a lot to write some I'm saving it for later.
But it's all truth in itself...
It's all so insane.
I have paper shit to print out.
I'll catch ya on the flip side.

<3 & ..v

I'm going to say hi to William today.
Talking with my boyfriend and one of my good friends And they helped me really diagnose the situation and everything. Like how I should approach it and shit.
But it's just that...I'm too scared..
I dunno..
I've been treatin him wrong and that's not fair to him.

I'll go and say hi.
If he brings up the sitch, then I know he genuinely cares, he just thinks that I never take his advice. So I'll credit him and stuff.
But if he doesn't.
Then fuck it. I guess I screwed up.
I just won't go to him for that stuff anymore since he can't handle it.
I'll just be general.

He might be going through some serious shit.
I wanna listen too William...
Can you stop being such a GUY for a sec and...talk to me?


Eh.
My life.

I hate English class.
and I have to go today =/
I hate the fuckin essays.
I hate the fucking malfunctioning electronic assinments.
I hate the fucking CLASS.
He's a douche bag teacher.
I hate incompetence.
Don't ask for the job if you don't know what the fuck you're doing.
How the fuck did he get hired anyway?

*sigh*
Douche bag.

I need to write shit down. Read shit. and organize my LIFE.
....
Can this semester be over now?
I'd like to get to my major..
=/



<3 & ..v

Long story short
William isn't a jerk.
William does like me.
We talk.
Like normal.
I just have to ask permission and shit to like..look through shit cause he's a city boy and doesn't like people going through his personal belongings because they're his.
Like New Yorkers.
Psh.
Rude Northern city folk =]

He's my friend.
He knows my name and says it right.

I'm gonna talk to him tomorrow.
Like I'm gonna start saying "Hi. How are you?" Now because...it's seriously not as big of a deal as I'm making it.
So yeah.
My brain is such a drama queen.

I broke down today.
Everything got too heavy so fast.
Interior Design can kiss my ass.
Everyone[except my friends] in there can.
Stuck up bitches.
I'm the one that had the balls to go first.

Don't be mad because you're fat ass didn't move to volunteer and I got the points.
=/

Assholes.

I'm done.
Which is why I'm going to be more of myself tomorrow.
Cause I just don't care anymore.
I just want to finish everything and this week to end.
Please?


My eyes are burning...


<3 & ..v

I guess thats what he gets for listening the first time..

Dumbass...he just doesn't get it.
I know he's not as shy as me. I KNOW it.
Cause if he was! He wouldn't be laughing his ASS off being loud AS HELL WITH!-....his friends..
*sigh*
What? Did you really think in my emotional state that I was gonna notice he does what I do??
Didn't think so..

Great..
I fucked up this time..
I bet I'm just annoying to him..
Or maybe he's waiting for me to come say hi..
maybe not..
Whenever his friends are around he just blows me off.
Fuckhead.

Why am I the only one in mind aching strife??
I mean sure he has shit to worry about..
But I can help too dammit!!
But noooooooooo he just stays with his old friends..
when a new friend is...well..look at the title..

...why am I the only one that gets ignored in this whole fucking building..
It's not like i PURPOSELY went to Misheck!
It just felt nice to know someone with a similar background and a similar humor..
And ever since then William fucking...SHUNS me or something!!
What the heck???
No one told YOU to stop talkin to ME.
...I was so close.
We were close! He'd try to make me smile and shit and he has THE cutest smile. =]
Then..all of a sudden he blows me off and acts like i'm "just another person"
=/
BITCH! I CONFIDED IN YOU!
Asshole..
ASSHOLE ASSFACE!!!
FUCKIN ASSFACE LAWREY!!!!!
That's his new name.
Stupid fickle PMSing bitch..
Gosh...my life is in friggin shambles..

I guess in the end..I just want him to talk to me.
So we can be the friends we should be..
It's fucking hard having no one here..
and no one knowing what the fuck I'm going through..
They just treat me like I'm a fuckin crazed weirdo that should be roaming the streets with one eye nearly out it's socket and one eye permanently squinted in a shabby forest green trench coat and ripped up tattered candy stripped pants and a grungy blur shirt that looks like it's been attacked by a tiger and thrown up all over.. =/
*sigh*
I'm not a fuckin freak ok??

I'M NORMAL!!!! 0^o
hrmmmmm

He's always working...
ALWAYS.
=/
HOW MUCH WORK DO YOU NEED TO DO IN ONE FUCKIN NIGHT.
Like really, William.
TELL ME SO I CAN FUCKIN KNOW!
my gosh.
I don't know how much I can take...
Fuck this.
Ah whatever.
What ever happens happens riiiiiiight?? =]
He better make something happen pretty fuckin fast.
>=/

William is a dick.
Explanation later.

I have a pain in the ass project to do.
AND
A faggy essay to write.
=/

My life.
Is crap.

I don't get it.
What's his deal??
Why won't he talk to me anymore?
Gosh...what a bastard.
Oh well.
I'm still gonna ask to borrow his glue gun.
If he thinks I'm annoying.
Fuck him.
I'm still using his glue gun.
=P

=]
KAYKAY!!
Peace out for the momentary.


<3 & ..v

Insomnia is dangerous.

I woke up late this morning.
Missed the most important morning classes of my life..
=/

But the day still turned out fair.

I'm dead tired.

I've been using William and basically a journal.
Which is cool cause it's easier to talk to him.
It's like I'm talking to someone so it's actually engaging.
He takes forever to answer.
But sometimes he does.
I dunno if he'll answer this one ha!

Jon thinks he might like me.
Cause of how he acts.
=\
Pah.
I don't.
Act act to cutsey little girl "FRIEND!!" around him.
He'll know the boundary eventually.
He's 21.
He won't be too crushed....
*sigh* I hope he won't be..=/
Dude..you're 21? I'm 18? ain't workin.
Well it could cause you just turned 21 and I'm gonna be 19 soon...
nah it won't.
Know why, guy?
His name is called Jon Holdsworth.
He's pretty much the greatest and I love him.
You wanna get with me?
We'd have to agree to be "just friends"...
Sorry guy.
You're just gonna have to live off fantasies.
Thanks for the flattery though.
It's nice to know I'm pretty and cute. =]

I want Godiva chocolates.
I want to make my newsletters.
I want to design some clothes.
I want to draw Amil and Georgie and Latran and Alexorne again.
I want to listen to Rent tomorrow.
I want to dance tomorrow.
I want to play my SP with my new game gifted to me by the bf.<3
I want to give William his gift.

I don't want to go to English tomorrow. =/

De Anna is turning into one of my besties.

Sara and Taylor. I miss you both.
I love you both.
You two will forever be my besties.
Believe it.
<33

No one can top my best friends.
You can try but when you fail miserably...
I'll say:
Next time. Give it up? =]

I love you guys. I'm texting Joel and Taylor tomorrow.
I'm seeing Jon for a little bit.

Celebrating Addy's b-day.
The big one eight.

I got a dry erase board.
I plan to write on it.


Massive sugar drunk.
I only crash when I get drunk off sugar.
Who doesn't?
Don't get hyper.
You don't get much done.


I'm dead tired.
Going to bed.

Now.


<3 and ..v